Today was church. Boy was it a doosy. I almost didn't go because I was hurting so much. My back was killing me before I even left the house. By the end of 1st hour I was in major pain. By the end of the 2nd hour I could feel the fluid pressure building up in my spinal cord. Now having Syringomyelia, I know, fluid pressure is not a good thing, the step after that is blacking out, which has happened twice to me. But silly me decided to try and stay for the 3rd hour anyway. Wrong move!
I was sitting there in Relief Society (a meeting for just the ladies) and this other sister (we call each other brother and sister in our church) came and sat behind me with her two and a half year old. He should have been in nursery but wasn't. He was apparently acting up in the nursery so she brought him to RS. No big deal... until... the kid starts kicking the back of my chair! So much so in fact that he is actually moving the chair. Seriously, this kid wasn't big, he was pretty little, but yet he is kicking my chair and moving it! I'm not a small girl! So those were some powerful kicks to be doing that. What does his mom do? Nothing! She laughed and thought it was funny. O.k. back up a sec. He first started shaking my chair. She giggled and told him that wasn't nice. So he laid down and started kicking. She did at one point tell him that if he didn't stop she would send him back to class. O.k. I don't know about you, but nursery is a place where the kids get to play with toys for 2 hours while their parents are in other classes. It's not supposed to be a threat or punishment! Did she ever tell him to stop kicking my chair, or take him out? Nope! She just let him continue and when she noticed he was moving the chair with his He-Man kicks she laughed! So with each kick, I have sharp shooting pains going up and down my back. Luckily I didn't pass out. I was waiting for it because like I said, it has happened twice before when the fluid pressure got too bad. I did start seeing spots. I think if I had to sit there for any longer I probably would have passed out. By the end of the 3rd hour the pain was excruciating and unbearable!
Why did I just sit there and not get up you ask? Because, get this, I was afraid of offending her! She doesn't come to church that often, in fact it was the first time I had seen her there in a month. So I thought if I offended her she may not come back for a while. So I just sat there. In retrospect maybe I should have just got up and left, but like I said, I didn't want to offend her.
After the disastrous 3rd and final meeting, I endured the 30 minute car ride home. Not easy when you're already in excruciating pain. But I got home and had a hard time moving. I tried to do as much as I could in the way of getting things for myself. My hubby has a hard time seeing me like that so I try not to show it when I am in that much pain. He knew I was in pain but I think I hid the extent of the pain pretty well. I don't like taking my pain meds so I took 4 advil and hoped that would dull the pain a little. It didn't. After dinner I laid down on the couch with my heating pad. That did help slightly and I fell asleep.... for 4 hours! I didn't wake up until almost 10p.m.! So now here I sit, 12:30 a.m. and unable to sleep. Oh, and I am in almost as much paind now as I was by the end of that 3rd meeting.
Seriously, the next time I decide that I can make it through all 3 hours of church when I am already in a lot of pain before even leaving the house, just please, somebody kick me! Oh, wait... just have the little boy kick my chair again! *rolling eyes* Here's hoping next Sunday will be better....
Pride and or the lack thereof
2 weeks ago